Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. – Oscar Wilde

We have been celebrating heart chakra this week in yoga along with a theme of authenticity. Truth resides in the heart and when we act and move from this precious chamber we are naturally authentic.

So perhaps this practice led to the mind-heart-soul revelation I find myself experiencing regarding my ‘independent streak’. Whether due to my Aquarian sun sign or just my overall nature, I have always been what I would call individualistic, choosing to do things a little differently (or perhaps a lot in some cases).

I remember being punished by the nun ‘teaching’ me in early grade school when I chose to have my own style of handwriting – (“That’s NOT how it’s done!” I was told… “BUT this is how I DO it”, thought I) – to adopting lifestyles that didn’t always ‘conform to the norm’. (I had ample opportunity to shock while married to a man in the military for 17 years. He was remarkably understanding of his ‘wayward wife’ and while perhaps a bit exasperated from time to time, I think he also admired that I chose to follow my own unique path.)

And perhaps I just find the conventional boring. That probably won’t ever change.

What has, though, become rather unpredictably apparent is that there is indeed a shadow side to being independent. It reveals itself when one holds back from completely letting go – whether in a relationship, a life decision or any situation where there’s a fear of losing one’s way or one’s theoretical stability. And in this shadow, the heart closes off.

Because my most cherished goal is to live 110% from my heart, this discovery is a bit alarming but at the same time very welcome. I am learning that independence can indeed cohabitate with allowing oneself to become vulnerable. One can walk to the beat of one’s own drum and still shed the armor. This may take a while to integrate, but it’s worth the effort and I am willing to give it a chance.

AFFIRMATION: My independent nature coexists blissfully with my vulnerable, open heart.Rolling With It

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